Monday, June 16, 2008

Managing relationships between being spontanous &being smart

Thinking about it, one of the very healthy signs of a human relationship- doesn't have to be a man and a woman- is how natural the people in this relationship really are.
A relationship where I find myself accepted and appreciated for what I really am with no pressure on me from any place to try doing or being something that I'm not can be called a "healthy" relationship. Whereas being in a place where I loose being self freely is by definition a very bad place where I have to so everything I can to be in frequently.

When it comes to dealing with men, as life partners, there's this list known to many women about the mistakes you can do to end up having the relationship cancer which is "be taken for granted".
So women by ages developed vaccinations, warning flayers and one-to-one and one-to-groups lectures. By time, women are fully aware of the concept of how to keep the man away from the place where he can take you for granted.

But then after a while women and men started to over calculate every move, every word, every gesture and every request from the other side. Cause men haven been also brought up with the same protective method against being "markoub" meaning the weak man controlled by his wife and women are now also armed and ready for their battles.
So now it is so normal that you do the exact opposite of what you actually do. Or say what you don't want to say. If you're in a mode for hanging out and you were asked out you are supposed to say no cause you don't want to be the "easy one".

May be when it's saying no for a hangout it's not the end of the world. After all, I can hang out alone. But won't this make us loose our "being our owns"?
I'm one of those who can't loose being spontaneous or at least natural. If by any chance I started to think of every single word and move, I automatically loose my self confidence and actually a big deal of my creativity.
So now I don't know, I do believe being myself is the best. Still I agree that I can't accept being takes for granted.

1 comment:

Shimaa Gamal said...

I think that the trickiest thing about being in a relation is that a relation will eventually die whenever any of the partners take the other for granted while the purpose of the relation to be safe feeling that your partner is yours regardless what happens i.e. safety in a relationship is directly proportionate to this taking for granted thing.
An ideal relation will be a relation where you can be yourself as you keep your partner both interested and granted. This works both sides.