I Was Here (United Nations World Humanitarian Day Perform...

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I want to say I lived each day, until I died
I know that I had something in, somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

I just want them to know
That I gave my all, did my best
Brought someone to hapiness
Left this world a little better just because...

I was here...

I was here...
I lived, I loved
I was here...
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here...

Domestic Violence 101

Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, and intimate partner violence (IPV), has been broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation. Domestic violence, so defined, has many forms, including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. Alcohol, or drug consumption and mental illness can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges when present alongside patterns of abuse.

Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and from era to era. According to some studies, less than 1 percent of domestic violence cases are reported to the police. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem. 

Again, Domestic Violence is not only physical! It is:

·       Physical

·       Sexual

·       Emotional

·       Verbal

·       Economic

Sometimes violence that is not physical could be much harder and with deeper impact on human soul. Each category will be discussed in details later.

See you later folks, with the special October awareness campaign for Domestic Violence Against Women!

Sources: Domestic Violence on Wikipedia 

Hello October ... again!

October is the month dedicated from the United Nation to raise awareness to Domestic Violence Against Women. Follow me on my blogs, social media accounts, etc. I will share info, videos, data, numbers, life stories, and more! Please help and share to spread the word. You may not believe this, but a word can do a lot!

Numbers Talk:

GLOBAL VILLAGE

How will violence against women look in a scaled down world, in a global village of 1,000 people? (the figures are based on statistics from UN, WHO and governmental and non-governmental organizations)

·         500 are women

·         It would be 510, but 10 were never born due to gender-selective abortion or died in infancy due to neglect

·         300 are Asian women

·         167 of the women will be beaten or in some other way exposed to violence during their lifetime

·         100 of the women will be victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime

WOMEN AND POPULATION

·         49.7% of the world population are women (3,132,342,000 women; 3,169,122,000 men) (UN Population Division).

·         At least 60 million girls who would otherwise be expected to be alive are "missing" from various populations as a result of sex-selective abortions or inadequate care as they are seen less important than boys (E, Joni Seager, 2003).

VIOLENCE IN THE FAMILY

Violence within the family takes different forms  

1-   physical aggression, such as slapping, hitting, kicking and beating  

2-   psychological abuse, such as intimidation, constant belittling and humiliation, including various controlling behaviors, such as isolating a person from their family and friends, monitoring and restricting their movements, access to information or assistance.

Around the world

·         At least one in every three women, or up to one billion women, have been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetimes. Usually, the abuser is a member of her own family or someone known to her (L Heise, M Ellsberg, M Gottemoeller, 1999).

·         Up to 47% of women report that their first sexual intercourse was forced (WHO 2002).

·         Up to 70% of female murder victims are killed by their male partners (WHO 2002).

·         In Kenya more than one woman a week was reportedly killed by her male partner (Joni Seager, 2003).

·         In Zambia five women a week were murdered by a male partner or family member (Joni Seager 2003).

·         In Egypt 35% of women reported being beaten by their husband at some point in their marriage (UNICEF 2000).

·         In Bolivia 17% of all women aged 20 years and over have experienced physical violence in the previous 12 months (WHO 2002).

·         In Canada the costs of violence against the family amount to $1.6 billion per year, including medical care and lost productivity (UNICEF 2000).

·         In the USA a woman is battered, usually by her husband/partner, every 15 seconds (UN Study on the World’s Women, 2000).

·         In Bangladesh 50% of all murders are of women by their partners (Joni Seager, 2003).

·         In New Zealand 20% of women reported being hit or physically abused by a male partner (UNICEF 2000).

·         In Pakistan 42% of women accept violence as part of their fate; 33% feel too helpless to stand up to it; 19% protested and 4% took action against it (Government study in Punjab 2001).

·         In the Russian Federation 36,000 women are beaten on a daily basis by their husband or partner, according to Russian non-governmental organizations (OMCT 2003).

·         In Spain one woman every five days was killed by her male partner in 2000 (Joni Seager, The Atlas of Women).

·         About two women per week are killed by their partners in the United Kingdom (Joni Seager, 2003).

Violence against women is violence against humanity, against the continuity of this life.

Violence against women is violence against the essence of this world

We’ve been living in a male-dominant world for ages, and look what they have been doing … live, and let the women live… I assure you, it will be an amazing place to live in!

Source: Making Violence against Women Count, Facts and Figures - a Summary

Female Actors in the Egyptian Islamic Public Sphere -- My own Statement!

Last Thursday, I had the honor of being invited as one of the speakers in the second day of the workshop titled “Female Actors in the Egyptian Islamic Public Sphere: Increasing Significance through Increasing Mediatization?"  organized by the Netherland-Flemish Institute in Cairo (NVIC). The speakers were Ms. Kawthar  the head of the social department in OnIslam, Ms. Dalia Younis, last year ,medical student who is the moderator and spokesperson for her mother Dr-Suzan, the medical professor and Islamic preacher, and myself. I’ll be posting about the whole event in a while. Here’s my opening statement:

Thank you NVIC for the honorable invitation. It’s very special to me to speak on this special day, November 25^th is the international day for elimination of violence against women, such a very interesting coincidence.

It is very special to me to share my experience that has been a journey of self exploration that has been helping me a lot.

During my last year in medicine school which is a training year, and for a whole year after graduation, I was struck by the low standards women put for themselves.

My colleagues had minimal – if any- interest to their grades & performance, compared to the rings they have on their fingers. I found out that the ultimate role of a woman according to them was to get married before being 25, and for that anything was accepted; humiliation, abuse, quitting her career… when I started to talk more about that, I was called “a jealous spinster”

So In late 2007, I started my own blog in Arabic “A Diary of a Sinister Spinster”.

At the beginning, I only wanted to vent away my own anger & frustration, but then I found out that I was not alone thinking like that, and that I have been giving an amazing blessing; “The Voice”

So .. for two years, 2008 & 2009, I expressed my impressions & concerns about the Egyptian community and how single women are being treated. My main debate was even though marriage is a good thing, being single is not the end of the world, and I should not give up what is important for me just to get the marital status.

The biggest challenge when I was interviewed by media, or from the comments, was that I was perceived as “A spinster by choice”. It took me some time to keep on saying that the title of the blog is sarcastic and not expressive of how I see myself.

Most of the comments were supportive & encouraging from anonymous women & aggressive from anonymous men. Of course, I got me a few online proposals J

Then I knew that our main problem is that we don’t bring up our daughters in a way that preserves them any hint of self esteem. The concept of beauty that made facial bleaching creams in a Caucasian country a best seller is a very good example of how we here don’t raise our daughters to believe in themselves, until today I fight with that… girls still think to have dark skin means you’re not beautiful!!

The most controversial debate was when I tried to hit the concept of choice; talking about women living alone or women getting married by themselves (to say their own vows) were topics that I get comments on till today and a lot of them don’t agree.

I share my email all the time and my cell phone sometimes with people who comment, through which I got to know a lot of friends & people that I now know personally.

By the end of 2009, I knew that even though my anger was deeper, it was a stage, and that I had to evolve. So I started a new blog “The Purple Revolution” my own revolution, where the  main focus is young women ranging from 15 to 35, women who are in the beginning of either a relationship or a marriage.

My tools are diverse now, using the Twitter hashtag technique, Facebook netblog services, and the different Google applications are helping me to reach my target audience, and helping them to reach me.  Using codes like VAW or FGM is a very easy way to get in touch with those who have the same interest on the web, and to be always updated regarding these topics.

Let me give you an example; October is the month assigned by the UN to raise awareness of domestic VAW. A very big group of websites owners, bloggers, and activists joined their online forces by posting videos, data, simple straight numerical facts and posts of their own words about that issue. Through dedicating a tag or a label, sharing a banner, and tweeting about all that, the term violence against women was (and still is) widely and constantly spreading through the web.

In Sept 2009, I joined Muslimah Media Watch (MMW), an online English speaking website where Muslim women from around the globe emphasize how media portrays women in general in Muslim dominating countries, and Muslim women in the West. Naturally the audience is a bit different, as an Egyptian and an Arab, most of the topics I talk about are from Saudi Arabia, being the highly controversial and Lebanon, being highly exposed to media. As much as we get positive feedback, I still get comments stating that this categorization though it might help saving the identity but in the mean time it gives marginalization a bigger chance.

FINAL CUT

FINAL CUT - An exhibition by Maria Torffield about Female Genital Mutilation at the Ceres Gallery, New York

This exhibition addresses the subject of female genitals, their natural beauty, and the sexual mutilation of millions of women. This practice is active in 28 African countries, areas of Asia and Arab nations and is increasingly f...ound in Australia, Canada, Europe and the United States, primarily among immigrants from Africa and Southwest Asia.

UNICEF estimates that over 6,000 girls and young women undergo this torturous procedure each day, that is 4 girls or women per minute, and worldwide statistics show at least 130 million women today have had their genitals cut away.

Referred to as a “ritual,” this mutilating procedure consists of a partial or total cutting of the clitoris, labia minora, and parts of the labia majora. The cutting is performed mostly on young girls or teenagers, but also on adults, often by older women , who use razor blades, broken pieces of glass, or other sharp objects. No anesthesia is used.

Afterward, the sides of the vulva are often sewn or pinned with thorns until they grow together. Women who have undergone this cutting commonly suffer lifelong vaginal infections from urine and blood that cannot flow easily, chronic pelvic pain, difficulty walking, and even death.

The most sensitive organ of the female genitals is the clitoris with its bundle of 8,000 nerve fibers, the highest concentration of nerve fibers found anywhere on the body and twice the number of nerve fibers found in the penis.

My goal in creating this juxtaposition is to raise awareness of the beauty and differences in women, while confronting the audience with the subject of genital mutilation, its horror, brutality and sadness, the control of women’s sexuality and the need for this cruel and unjust tradition to end.

Sources: Africa united against Female Circumcision Facebook Page &  Maria Torffield website

Afghanistan ... Somalia ... Zambia

STOP FGM NOW!

“FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CULTURE, TRADITION OR RELIGION. IT IS TORTURE AND A CRIME. HELP US TO PUT AN END TO THIS CRIME.”

Appell von Waris Dirie from STOP FGM NOW! on Vimeo.