Have you ever heard the sound of silence? It has a very scary sound that is not percieved by our ears but felt by our hearts.
She woke up after one of her sleepless almost fainting naps hearing nothing but the sound of silence.
Everyone told her it'll pass..this will get better by time and the pain will eventually fade away. She kept looking inside her soul for that road with no pain at its end. They told her we'r being given the pain we can take even when we don't believe so, so she searched her heart for that point that ached least till it hurted more. With her turning around, her eyes were trying to spot a place where light isn't stabbingly painfull..even oxygen irritated her lungs.
Suddenly she was no where, like a scene from a Sci-Fic movie, a circular creature with her at the centre taking everything around. She wasn't at the center of that circle, she was the circle itself...The void was growing eating the space. She was no where..she felt she's no one.
Her six senses were functioning normally conducting emptiness into her soul. Even tears at some point were useless as they are only helpful when there's a pain to express..her pain was above this threshold of expression. May be it was so painfull that all her sensations were eaten alive.
She sat..stood..drove or lied down trying hard to thinnk os something good in her life.. to remind of her eyes of a lovely scene ..her ears with a touching piece of music , and her soul of any left traces of a life was once in her body.
People kept telling her it'll go away.." You'll get stronger" they repeatedly said..."your eyes will pick only better colours, your ears will now taste more of what's expressive not describtive, and your heart will......."
"Will what???" She interrupted.. "will love again? laugh again? need again? wait again..bleed again..and ache again??"
Feeling her hearts deepest fear,she ran into it, hugged it and promised protection. At that point her eyes were washed..tears cleared the image, she now sees things more clearly and music even has a better impact..now she likes listening to what's only pure..the sound of the see, the giggle of a child.. Is her soul happier? She won't lie, she can't tell, but at least she knows now she can rest on her peaceful fluffy pad of "Equilibruim" and her heart smiled at the new hope of the pain going away. Now she can feel the pain, and now she can take it!