I can handle your telling me
what I did or didn't do.
And I can handle your interpretations
but please don't mix the two.
If you want to confuse any issue,
I can tell you how to do it:
Mix together what I do
with how you react to it.
Tell me that you're disappointed
with the unfinished chores you see,
But calling me "irresponsible"
is no way to motivate me.
And tell me that you're feeling hurt
when I say "no" to your advances,
But calling me a frigid man
won't increase your future chances.
Yes, I can handle your telling me
what I did or didn't do,
And I can handle your interpretations,
but please don't mix the two."
~Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life