CAIRO: Reem is a 21-year-old Egyptian woman who recently graduated from university and is looking forward to the future. A degree in hand, she is readying herself for success. But like the vast majority of women in Egypt, she was the victim of a sexual assault that took place in Egypt’s many public spaces: on the bus.
She told Bikya Masr the story of the incident, and more shockingly, what the police did – rather did not do – in response.
When Doha had to jump out of her cab three times after being assaulted by the drivers in broad daylight, she knew she had to do something about it. So she has joined a growing number of women in Lebanon who speak out against sexual harassment.
I am not very fond of symbols when they come to women, but today I have to. This idea crossed my mind when I was shopping for groceries few days ago. I usually categorize them into items that are always needed so we have to have extras and spares of, items that are better be found when needed so just remembering having them is good, and the rest of the stuff that are really no big deal.
Then it crossed my mind!
We, women, are like spices! Yea!
The “Salt” woman; She is the one you have to have at home, can’t enjoy a meal without her except if you’re either a weirdo or someone with no taste buds. In case you run out of her, you freak out. Because even deserts have a tiny salt portion. You really can’t live with her. But unfortunately, as necessary as she is, one by time can easily forget she exits. Salt women are tender, forgiving, sweet, fun, but they are always taken for granted. They are hardly appreciated and as long as they are available, they are seen as dispensable.
The “Hot Spicy” woman; She is all about fun, lots of fun. Actually sometimes she is just what it takes to make the meal “perfect”. BUT, she’s never a home ingredient, once you keep her on the shelf, you start talking too much of her, till you finally get bored. The thing about this woman is novelty, adventure and suspense. By having her at home, she automatically loses all that flavor of hers. She is the weekend, summer trip, one night stand woman, and she can’t be anything else.
Then there’s the “Pepper” woman; the one that as important as she is, she is still not taken for granted. There are some meals that can’t be eaten without it. Each of us has these one or two dishes that have to be eaten with lots of pepper. She is kept at home with gratitude. I personally can’t have eggs unless they are blackish from how much pepper put onto them. She is as necessary as salt, but not taken for granted.
Now this is a smart woman. Don’t hold on to the exact example, call yourself “pepper”, “lemon” or whatever. Just find your way between being “important with no fun” and “just all about the fun”. A smart woman is a proud one, she is supportive but not in a nanny or mommy way. She is indispensable but not bitchy. She is enjoyable but not playable. She is so proud not to be appreciated and so secure to show love, care, and need.
Don’t fall into the salty trap, believe me, you won’t be valuable. Don’t brag about being the hot spice of his life, because you’ll never know what he has for breakfast, if you manage to get to his home.
A smart woman “loves” herself, and knows she only deserves to be loved the same way in return. Don’t underestimate yourself or accept justifications for being loved less than what you really “know” you deserve.
